OSCARS: Donald Trump Wins Oscar For Best Ongoing Comedic Performance

Congratulations - it was well deserved!

LOS ANGELES, CA –  In a kind-of-a-surprise-but-not-really-a-surprise Oscars moment, President Donald J. Trump walked away with his first Academy award tonight for Best Ongoing Comedic Performance after his stunning breakout act in 2017.

Trump, who was not available to available to accept the award in person as he was on vacation in Mar-A-Lago – again, has had the whole world in tears over the past 18 months after being chosen for the role of President of the United States of America. And despite having little acting background, he has shone in the role.

The President did however appear via telecast.

“This is truly a huge honor”, he said, “Who’d have thought that 18 months after taking on this roll I’d still somehow have the energy and passion to keep this performance going. I love it, I’m having so much fun bringing tears to the eyes of the world.”

“I’d like to thank my family, I’d like to thank the Russians, and most importantly I’d like to thank the media for really keeping this thing snowballing. I doubt there’ll be any of my supporters watching tonight so I think it’s safe for me to say that, as long as those idiots keep eating it up, I’ll keep on doing my thing.

Interestingly, the telecast did see him smelting the golden award down as he made the speech. Reports suggest that he plans on re-purposing the award by turning it into a golden knife and fork to eat his fried chicken with on Air Force One.

The crowd gave him a huge round of applause, attesting to his comedic prowess and those crazy things that he does to keep the country entertained.

And critics are already praising the decision to give the award to Trump, with many stating that his performances have probably been the funniest that this country has seen in a generation.

“The guy is a genius”, said Scott McIntosh of TMZ, “The past 18 months have had me crying with laughter. He’s a pure, unadulterated comedian. A true clown. His tidbits have been hilarious and we can’t wait to see what he comes out with next.”

“I mean, suggesting that he’d run in to a school shooter situation unarmed despite having ouchy-ouchy feet? That’s the height of comedy. Things like that just can’t be scripted. He’s one of the best improv actors in the world right now and we should feel honored that we’re alive to witness this.”

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Guybrush Threepwood

Hi, I'm Guybrush. Not Gorbush, not Frygosh, not Monsieur Tweephood, and certainly not Mr. Spicecake. Guybrush. I used to desperately want to be a pirate, however after many fruitless endeavors and being involved in a number of monkey-related incidents and quarrels with a chap named LeChuck, I turned my attentions to my second love - journalism. I'm here to bring you the latest news from here, there and everywhere. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or later tonight.

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