REPORT: White House Spending On “We’re Sorry You’re Leaving” Cards Hits $300m Since 2017

Hope Hicks is the latest ex-employee to receive one.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A new report released today shows that the White House has hit $300million in spending on “We’re Sorry You’re Leaving” cards since the beginning on 2017 due to its rapid turnover of high-ranking employees.

The finding of the independent report, which was later verified by the White House, is a stark contrast to that of the Obama administration which only spent $17.46 on similar themed greetings cards.

The $300m line was crossed today as the White House today confirmed that communications director Hope Hicks, one of┬áPresident Donald Trump’s longest-serving and closest aides, is resigning in the coming days.

This comes on the back of other recent high profile White House resignations such as Steve Bannon, Anthony Scaramucci and Sean Spicer.

“With the purchase of this $4.99 leaving card from a nearby Walmart, we see the spending on this specific type of item surpass $300million in just 14 months”, explained Robert Hernandes from the Institution of Independent Greetings Card Research, “It really is incredible to know that more money has been spent on leaving cards than on pens, pencils and other stationary.”

“And this is just the greetings cards. We’re still crunching the numbers on how many leaving cakes have been baked, as well as how many hours have been spent actually passing these leaving cards around the office for people to sign.”

“At the current turnover rate, we expect spending to hit $500million within 6 months. Maybe quicker if Mueller has anything to do with it.”

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Guybrush Threepwood

Hi, I'm Guybrush. Not Gorbush, not Frygosh, not Monsieur Tweephood, and certainly not Mr. Spicecake. Guybrush. I used to desperately want to be a pirate, however after many fruitless endeavors and being involved in a number of monkey-related incidents and quarrels with a chap named LeChuck, I turned my attentions to my second love - journalism. I'm here to bring you the latest news from here, there and everywhere. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or later tonight.

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