Tech

$19.99 Social Media Internet Package Set To Be #1 Seller This Christmas

The sought-after gift has skyrocketed to the coveted position in just 12 hours.

U.S.A. – With Christmas Day fast approaching and gift purchasing in full swing, an independent report today released the annual list of top sellers over the holiday season, and this year’s top spot has gone to a gift that only really hit the shelves within the last 12 hours.

Thanks to the repeal of Net Neutrality, the ‘Social Media Internet Package’ priced at a paltry $19.99 per month (on top of a base price of $79.99 per month) was made available by all the major Internet Service Providers today. It has already been snapped up by millions of consumers nationwide, propelling it to the number one spot.



The package allows users to access websites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other platforms once considered a necessity to stay in touch with friends and family as opposed to a luxury.

Will Dodson, who spearheaded the annual report, explains what makes the Social Media Internet Package so popular.

[TO READ THIS INTERVIEW, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR ISP AND UPGRADE TO THE INTERVIEW ACCESSIBILITY ADD-ON PACKAGE]

He also explained what he expects the trends of 2018 to look like.

[TO READ THIS INTERVIEW, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR ISP AND UPGRADE TO THE INTERVIEW ACCESSIBILITY ADD-ON PACKAGE]



Sales are expected to continue to climb both in the next week and well into the New Year. ISP’s are also expected to release further add-on packages, such as the Image Accessibility Package, the Login Functionality Package, and the Ebony Porn Package tailored to racist Bible Belt republicans.

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Guybrush Threepwood

Hi, I'm Guybrush. Not Gorbush, not Frygosh, not Monsieur Tweephood, and certainly not Mr. Spicecake. Guybrush. I used to desperately want to be a pirate, however after many fruitless endeavors and being involved in a number of monkey-related incidents and quarrels with a chap named LeChuck, I turned my attentions to my second love - journalism. I'm here to bring you the latest news from here, there and everywhere. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or later tonight.

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